The Reality of Being Engaged

Marriage. It is all I want sometimes. It is always on my mind. It is our goal this year. Ya know, casual but lofty. It is what most all our conversations turn into. Marriage. The reality is: merging two lives is actually a lot of work.

This is Tyler proposing in front of my dorm.  He had the whole day planned, and it was incredibly special. (The ring was his grandmothers.) 

But, a whole lot of excitement. Being one with him and God. Funny, no one really provides a crash course on how to be a wife. You only get one shot. Wife 101. It should be a course. 


In my college career I’ve only made about 5 grades lower than an A. One of which was Marriage and the Family, and the other was Child Development (Motherhood 101). It just makes me giggle a lot.

It is easier than you would think to get sucked into being the typical American engaged couple. Oh, buddy. I want to post every picture I take with my fiancé, write a sappy post about how he is better than your significant other, and how we were made for each other. We text each other how many days until we say “I do” daily. I want to register for every Fiesta Ware color, pick out the nicest Kitchen Aid Mixer, the softest sheets, and go ahead and name our twin boy and girl that who knows if we will actually have. I pin everything Joanna Gaines is mentioned in, and I have a whole secret board for the honeymoon plans.

I am an imperfect girl marrying a imperfect man and trying to plan a perfect future. It is so stressful, because it isn’t possible. 

Recently my eyes were open to how much I put my faith in my own ability. I am putting the pressure on me to provide for our family while Tyler is (hopefully) in grad school. I am worried about where we are going to live, where we might find jobs, if we are even going to have jobs, who will our friends be after college, and how long is it going to take to pay off loans.  (So on and so on.) It seemed like as soon as I said “Yes” reality set in that this is a real commitment to one-another and choices we make are real–they create the story we tell our children one day.

God has always provided for us. If I believe He brought my fiancé and I together from Mobile to a Tuscumbia Mission Repot to our 9:30 Health and Wellness MWF class and two and a half years of dating, I should have full reason to believe He is going to take of us through the years of engagement/marriage.

He has brought me to this point, not to just let me drown. He has brought me to this point, not to let me drop. He has brought me to this point, not to let me fail. He has brought me to this point, because He is faithful. We will make it past this point. We will laugh and cry and celebrate all the way through. We will make it, and we will do it with as much grace as we can muster up. Together. My God and I. We’ve done it before, but this time we are adding my husband to the team.

So, before you do what I did and freak out about the reality of merging two lives, remember Who got you this far.

Maybe I’m not the only one dealing with the emotions of total excitement and joy-stealing stress. Comment your concerns and hopefully we can help one-another.

If you made it through this step of your life and have some tips, comment.


Published by AddieWilliams

A twenty-four year old married Special Education Teacher. We are in the process of moving to Alaska, so all new adventures are coming soon! I write about teaching, saving money, paying off debt, traveling, and wife-ing.

4 thoughts on “The Reality of Being Engaged

  1. Pray about everything, forgive easy, and don’t let the small things get in the way. Each of you are going to get on each other’s nerves at some point, but don’t get mad, find the humor in it, because after all that annoying thing is one of the many reasons you love each other. Don’t try to change each other, if something doesn’t work make changes together. There is no problem too big for God, always put him first and everything else will follow!! I love y’all.


  2. Addie, my “angel”, I love you! God’s got this. You have a wonderful life ahead of you. I’m so very proud of you and for you. Hugs and may God ease your stress.


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