“Modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves. It’s about revealing our dignity.
We were made beautiful, in His image and likeness.”
Male Christian high school and college students were asked their opinion of girls posting bikini pictures on social media. Here are their results.
This survey is not about condemning bikinis.This survey is not about judging you and your spirituality.This survey is about recognizing the influence and power you have over guys and their thinking by the decisions you make.This survey is about being wise.
When you see photos of girls on social media (Facebook, instagram, etc.) in a bathing suit (more specifically bikini) what are the thoughts that run through your head? We would like an honest answer whether they are good or bad. Be as specific as you can, so that we can have honest data. **Some were also asked about seeing swimwear in real life.
Age 21: I find it very distracting when I see pictures of girls in bikinis on social media. I realize that most of you do not post these pictures to get people to look at you in sinful ways, and I know its not all the girl’s fault either. I know it’s our job as guys to try to have self-control and avoid looking at y’all that way, but I find it very difficult not to struggle when I do see it. I understand that y’all probably don’t wanna hear a bunch of people telling you what to do or not to do, but in hoping that maybe if you knew how a lot of these good, Christian men felt about it, you could maybe see things from a new perspective. I hope that all of you can take something from this and think about how you want Christians, and maybe even your future husband, to see you.
Age 20: Assuming I’m friends with them, it’s usually disappointment. Yes these pictures invoke lustful thoughts and that frustrates me, but its mainly disappointment. I wonder why they chose to wear so little. I think it’s for attention, and think it’s sad that they would choose this avenue to gain attention. They must have low self-esteem, to not think their personalities are interesting enough. If not for attention, I wish they would have more consideration for my struggles, and more respect for their own moral purity.
Age not given: The thing for me is that I realize that could be my sister or my daughter one day, and it makes me feel a little sick to my stomach.
Age 21: Initially? I don’t take notice of it right of the bat, but after that one second of seeing it I have to change what I’m looking at or I find myself focusing on the wrong things, which leads to thoughts of lust, which I have a hard time rebuffing
Age 19: I honestly think that a bikini is nakedness in God’s eyes. I, as a man, cannot see a bikini pic and not think bad thoughts. I’ve tried for years, but I cannot. I feel like when Adam and eve clothed themselves with fig leaves, God did not see them as clothed because He clothed them with coats of skins. Guys and girls need to dress as if we are before the Lord. Would we wear immodest or even questionable clothes before Him? That is the mindset we should have.
Age 21: Yeah you might look really good but in my opinion its a major hit on what I think about your personality. So it depends on what part you want to be seen as good. Looks vs. Personality.
Age 19: Most, if not all of the girls on my facebook/instagram are individuals I know or knew well at some point in my life. I carry an equal amount of respect for them and their bodies. It is up to me to control my thoughts. I tend to automatically avoid sexualization right off the bat.
Age 19: Well, honest, it depends on how that female has kept up her body on what I think. Either I think I wanna talk to that girl, or that there should be a size limit on bikinis.
Age 22: I don’t pay much attention to it, unless the bikini is really revealing. Although if it is apparent that you went out of your way to show off your body in a sexual way, I think that speaks to your character
Age 23: Disrespect for self and guys. Lack of thinking ahead. Selfishness. Sadness.
Age 21: Honestly, whenever I see a picture of a girl in a bikini, I am very tempted to lust. I’m not saying that girls choose to do this are causing me to sin; it is my own choice to look at the pictures. But girls, it would be so much more easier and less of a stumbling block to me if you wore more modest apparel. I ask that you show love to me by wearing clothes that reflect purity rather than immodesty, and I in turn will do my best to treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
Age 20: Puts me in a place of temptation. No difference between that and underwear. In fact usually bikinis are even more tempting.
Age not given: At the end of the day, it’s our fault for lusting, but the girls wearing the stuff aren’t helping us any.
Age 18: it makes me think lustful thoughts
Age 22: I think nothing of it. I see girls on vacation wearing a swim suit. To continue with the thought, I think guys make a much bigger deal of it than should be. If A guy struggles around a girl wearing a swim suit he should deal with it, not expect her to for him. Christian men should stay accountable for themselves and stop relying on the concept of “not causing your brother to stumble” man up and deal with their own sin of lust.
Age 21: I haven’t seen many. Okay yeah I have I guess. It’s kinda difficult because sometimes I want to stop and look, maybe see how skimpy of a bikini they’re actually wearing, and think “oh that’s hot” or on the other hand “wow she’s not very moral,” BUT I’ve gotten to where I try to quickly keep on scrolling. Either of my reactions aren’t good for me. You’re asking an alcoholic not to taste not to taste a beer as you walk him into a crowded bar. You’re asking that teenage boy not to cuss as you and your friends sit around and drop whatever word comes to mind. You’re asking your girlfriend to not cross “that line” with you as you slowly slide your hand under her shirt. [Notice in all those situations the tempted party has the option to remove himself from the situation. Idk how that comes in but yeah] I’ve been pondering whether I should unfollow (for my own sake) the persons each time I see one of those type posts. Not because I don’t like them, but rather because it’s not healthy for me–if you want to get down to it. One of the big things that I think only GUYS would think about is this: so many guys deal with porn. Okay, guys don’t “deal with porn”; guys are addicted to it. Guys know girls think porn is wrong, just like they themselves think it is wrong. However, it’s not easy to take that to heart when a girl who thinks porn is wrong is also wearing hardly anything and acting as if nothing is wrong. Wearing little clothing doesn’t “ignite lust”. It fuels the fire of a greater addiction. A bigger fire is already burning and it seems that most girls are okay with piling on the wood. Trust me, most guys try for a while to put the blaze out but you can’t feed a fire and put it out at the same time.
Age 19: I just try to keep scrolling. It makes it really easy to have impure thoughts, so I do not like it—it is an unnecessary temptation that takes me off guard, making it even harder to deal with.
Age 20: You wouldn’t post a picture of you in your underwear. A bikini should be no different. It is very tempting to guys.
Age 23: Usually “oh she looks good” or “mehhh”
Age 21: ..Social media is worse for me, but in person can be just as bad. If a guy doesn’t know you and he sees that kind of thing, he will perceive you as an object. It’s not his fault though. If the only thing associated with you is a picture of yourself half naked, can you blame him?…..Don’t give guys an opportunity to think of you as just an object. Don’t rob your future husband of the prize he desires. He is selfish. He doesn’t want to share you. He doesn’t want other guys to know what you look like under those clothes. Wear bikinis with your girlfriends when no guys are around. Wear bikinis for your husband when you are married. Don’t unlock those sexual desires for him until it’s safe to do so…
Age 22: What they’d look like without the already nonexistent clothes. Unfortunately.
Age 21: Frankly, it doesn’t bother me. In the not-so-distant past, even the modest one-pieces many CoC folks like would be considered the height of revealing dress. There is obviously a limit, and there are certainly situations in which bikinis are extremely inappropriate. To be clear, I think it unwise to put swim photos on FB, especially when most people are friends with many people they don’t know well or trust. However, if I can’t control my heart and mind, why should I be permitted to assign the blame to girls’ mode of dress?
Age 20: I think there is a clear difference in a skimpy bikini and a regular one and a clear difference between flaunting your stuff and just enjoying the beach and wanting to swim and tan. I also understand the argument of causing others to stumble but we have to work on our self-control as guys as well. It’s not fair to you to have to wear shorts and a t-shirt when you are trying to swim and when its 90 degrees outside. I also agree with being modest but in my opinion there is a difference in too much. If that all makes sense.
Age 20: I used to really struggle with this, but I think my class/work load helped this. Lust was a problem and it became difficult to think to push thoughts out.
Age 19: When seeing a suggestive image on Facebook it is difficult to maintain pure thoughts.
Age 20: Modesty/skimpy clothing/bikinis aren’t as much a temptation to me as they are a way a girl reveals her character. Being where I am (public college campus) I’m going to see most of that stuff all the time. But it’s disappointing when I see if from Christian girls because we’re supposed to be different. I have a lot of respect for girls who will go out with girls to the pool and make sure everyone knows they don’t want any pictures posted online. That says a lot about who she is and what she values. Girls may not think about it much but there’s really a lot of respect/disrespect towards their future husband that goes along with that too. Not to say a guy doesn’t have a part in controlling himself. Definitely he has to. But if a girl is modest in how she dresses she honors her parents, husband, and God. That’s about it.
Age 20: Anytime I see a picture like this, I immediately unfollow or unfriend this person. I struggle with lust enough without seeing photos like this. These photos are completely uncalled for and make the girl look insecure with who she is on the inside.
Age 20: Honestly, I don’t think many words. I just take a moment to savor what I find attractive in, and retain the image.
Age 19: Either wow she’s pretty or if she’s at a river or beach then I would like to be there, but usually I just keep scrolling.
Age 21: My immediate thoughts are definitely negative. If a girl is willing to put something like that online for all to see, then I don’t want to know what she’ll do. Bikinis are basically underwear. And I cannot imagine anyone could honestly try to argue that underwear is modest.
Age 19: My thoughts are that they are probably doing it for attention. One thing that runs through my head is I think back to the Bible which says that we should dress appropriately, with them dressing like that, they are being a distraction to everyone in the church; especially guys.
Age not given: ..Men are very visually oriented, and when we see a girl dressed like that, our eyes automatically go to places they should not. It also (in my opinion) brings undue attention to the girl..
Age 20: Determine whether they look good or not.
Age not given: ..they say they want guys to look at them for something other than their bodies, yet their bodies are what they are putting on social media…
Age 19: Usually I try to see who it is, then I scroll down. I really don’t look at it long because I don’t approve. Not the kind of girl that I am looking for.
Age 20: Anytime I see a picture in a bikini, it is a lot easier to look. All it does is tempt me to have impure thoughts. It breaks my heart that girls want to reveal themselves like that.
Age 19: Generally, I think wow she is cute, but dressed like a prostitute. After that I just scroll on.
Age 19: Right off I am usually attracted and might stare for a bit if I do not catch myself. I usually come to my senses in a few seconds and if they have a habit of putting pictures up like that I will unfriend them because I don’t want to make them an object in my mind.
Age 18: I immediately notice how pretty she is but I also think of how inappropriate it is to show one’s self like that on a public basis to be looked at and judged by everyone. I admit that it does make me notice them and I can see where it causes people to lust, but I don’t typically take it as a big deal to look at.
Age 19: I typically think “why?”. It can be a serious temptation for many guys, and in a public setting no one—but especially Christians—should be comfortable wearing that little. So I personally don’t see any good “God-Glorifying” reason why a girl would want to wear one.
Age 18: When they post these, they are clearly trying to show off their bodies in an inappropriate way. It makes me sad to see girls I thought were modest and reserved posting these pictures. I don’t like it at all.
Age 21: I usually lose a lot of respect for the girl who has a bikini on in the picture. It makes me sad because not only does it make me have to look away quickly as a result of the lack of clothing, but it also puts a bad impression on me. I don’t understand why girls wear bikinis (no matter the age) and show that much of their bodies. It is the same as swimming or walking around in underwear. (I also want to say that I feel guys need to be held to the same standards and shirts should stay on.) Modesty is a huge thing and we don’t need to put it aside. Also, I usually decide then and there not to date the girl who wears a bikini because I feel that shows a lot into her relationship with God/morals
Age 18: When I see photos like this it is very tempting for me to lust. While it is my responsibility to control the passions of my flesh, these pictures are a large discouragement for me.
Age not given: I feel as if I’m looking at a girl who is in their underwear. I feel they have given in to worldly standards and traditions by wearing clothing that not only exposes ALL aspects of a woman’s body, but it EMPHASIZES their sex-related areas, at least from a guys perspective.
Age not given: ..I try my hardest not to look, but sometimes it just happens. I think most girls know that, and that’s why they wear it..